The Lost Art of Chivalry........Small Acts of Kindness

The days of chivalry seem to be behind us. Society doesn’t put much weight on kind words and being courteous. It is old fashioned to be nice to a complete stranger or let an older lady have your seat on a bus or the simple act of holding a door open to a stranger behind us. If you drive in the D.C. metropolitan area, you would know that everyone is out for themselves. I usually drive on the notorious Baltimore Washington Parkway, also know as 295, to and from work; like any congested highway, it can take its toll on you. I have noticed I have become more like everybody else and less like what I would like to be. Which begs the question, what happened to good old fashioned chivalry? The stress of modern life seems to strip us of our patience making small acts of kindness redundant.

I have found that when you do small things to make others smile; magic happens. You feel warm and content. A kind word doesn’t cost us anything but makes a world of difference in someone’s life. A simple hug heals broken relationships and builds bridges; it brings such an unexpected joy to the giver and the receiver. A small act of kindness, such as helping an older person carry their grocery to their car or a simple smile to or from a complete stranger instantaneously lightens our soul and brings an unexpected joy into our hearts. A smile is a gift that keeps on giving! We all have our days when we don’t feel like ourselves and it feels like it’s too much of an effort to even crack a smile, but as you greet people with a smile before long you will be in a much better state of mind. It’s hard to stay in a bad mood when you are smiling and your smile will certainly make your environment more cheerful. It’s a lot easier to smile than to frown; it certainly takes less energy and it doesn’t hurt that it generally puts you in a better mood. A smile is an instant facelift without a stitch of makeup.  

Your day will go so much better when you are nicer to the people in your life from your family, friends and colleagues to complete strangers that randomly cross your path. It may not always be what society dictates, but next time try being nice to a complete stranger just for the heck of it and see how it makes you feel. Nowadays, people even feel a tad bit suspicious when you are nice to them. It’s almost like being nice is not an expected behavior. If you are nice to someone who is your boss or has some authority over you, it could be perceived as ‘brown nosing’. Wow! How could we have fallen this far where being nice is not the norm but the exception? No wonder stress has become our constant companion and in the midst of our material abundance, we are less content and more miserable.

The golden rule, ‘Treat others the way you want to be treated’ is a key to a peaceful and joyful life. The world certainly is not fair and the pain we experience can sometimes make us less open and more closed and even cold. We may think it is safer to not put ourselves out there and pretend to not care, so others can’t hurt us. Modern man’s defense mechanism to deal with the stress of  life in these chaotic times is to not be vulnerable, not care enough about others. We may think that being nice is a sign of weakness and we can’t afford to be perceived weak in a world of the survival of the fittest. So we learn to be fiercer and less gentle as matter of necessity to survive the toll of modern life.

Today, in spite of the global economic crisis, most of us living in the western world have a lot more than our basic needs. By the rest of the world’s standard, we may even be considered to live in luxury. So why are we more stressed and less content with families falling apart all around us? I think, unbridled materialism is at the root of our problems. I think it is time for all of us to adopt the lost tradition of being good to our neighbors and being courteous for no particular reason. I would say a little chivalry goes a long way. A small act of kindness such as greeting others with a genuine smile is what we need more in our fast paced, high strung and stress filled lives. Give it a shot today; send a thank you note to a friend or help someone in need or simply be a courteous driver and see how that in turn impacts your life. I dare you to put this principle to a test. See if this won’t make you feel so much better about life in general and make your life more enjoyable.

Like most people, I am impacted by the stress of modern life, but a good old fashioned chivalry is in order. I don’t know about you but I am ready for a change. I want to live a more meaningful life in spite of the challenges I may be facing. A meaningful and grounded life is not found in monumental achievements, but in a life graced by common human decency and chivalry.

Go out and discover the joy found in small acts of kindness. You will find that there is more joy and contentment in giving than receiving.